It's a...

GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry this is a picture of a picture, but I didn't want to go scan it. You can see there is nothing between those little legs. She was kicking and had the hiccups during the ultrasound, but I can't feel them yet. I have had slight sensations I think are baby, but nothing for sure yet. I am 19 weeks tomorrow so hopefully soon I will feel her. My midwife said my placenta is across the front of my tummy so that may buffer her movements for a bit. We are very excited! Now we have to get serious about names and getting her nursery put together. :)

Thoughts on becoming Mom

The template on my blog stopped working so I tried to fix it, and ended up with this lovely blue scene. It’s not my favorite, but I’ve done enough damage for one day to fix it. Lately I have been thinking about all the changes that are coming our way with a little one joining the two of us. I am very much a futuristic thinker. I want to plan and be prepared for change. I think I exhaust Brian with my ramblings. There is just so much I worry about. For instance:

Finances: Bri and I really struggled financially when we were first married. We lived on Mac n Cheese and Top Ramen for a good long time, but we wanted to make it on our own. We didn't want help from our parents. We had made the choice to get married young with no money and we wanted to be responsible for our choice. It was a good learning experience and I am thankful for it. Now that we have been done with school for awhile and both have great jobs, we have been financially very comfortable. We aren’t rich by any means, but we are taken care of and only eat Top Ramen now if we want to. J When baby comes I won’t be working as much. I still am going to work to keep my license active and get out for some “me time”, but it will be an adjustment. Brian makes plenty to support us, but I just worry. Babies are expensive everyone tells us. The time just goes by so fast and it won’t be just diapers we need to pay for but soon dance lessons, sports teams, musical lessons, weddings, missions, college… I know, I’m thinking too far ahead. Moving on.

Adjusting from 2 to 3: I believe that is a very personal decision when a couple decides to have kids. I don’t care if you pop one out right after getting married or wait 10 years. Brian and I made the decision to wait, then it took longer than expected to get pregnant, so we now have had 5 years just to ourselves. I am so grateful for our time together because it’s a time I know we will never get back once we become parents. We have become best friends and really depend on each other for everything. However, having had so much time alone, I worry about the adjustment to baby. We pick up and go all time to do things together. If we need groceries and it’s 10 at night we go, but I know all that will change when baby comes.

Being a good mom: When baby comes I’ll be close to 25. Is that really old enough to be a mom? I still feel like a kid myself some days. I just want my kids to be honest, kind, caring and have strong testimonies to rely on. I look at the world today and hear horror stories about kids in school and worry about raising mine right.

Anyways, this has turned into a lovely journal entry. I know I am worrying too much. I know we will be just fine. I know I have awesome moms around me to learn from and get help from if needed. I also know I have an awesome partner in crime to tackle this parenting thing with. Life is wonderful and we are really excited to expand our family. I’m excited for all the adventures that will surely come and hope we’re ready…

Moms...any advice?

Baby Story

Well the news is out that we are expecting a little one is May. I am going to try to be a better blogger through this pregnancy since this is the only form of journal I keep...:/ Shame on me I know. Brian and I are feeling very blessed and excited about our little miracle baby. In May we had tried close to a year to get pregnant with no luck, so I made an appointment and went and saw an OB for infertility help. I was excited for the visit and had an open mind. The doctor came in and was with me no more than 3 minutes. He handed me a paper with a list of expensive tests he wanted us to do (semen analysis, ovary checks, I can't remember them all now...) and said he wouldn't move forward with anything until they were done. I left the office shocked and when I stepped outside I started bawling. Embarrassing I know, but I was so let down. Maybe it's the nurse in me, but I believe you take time with your patients and talk to them. You don't slap them a paper and walk out (not to mention charge 100 bucks for the visit). Ughhh. Anyways, when Brian got home from work I showed him the paper and told him what happened. We decided to pray about it and see where to go. We decided we would take until the end of the summer and keep trying on our own. Then at the end of the summer if nothing happened I would go back in, but see another doctor. I had the opportunity to take the summer off of working graves to see if getting my body on an normal schedule would help. End of summer came and no luck. I made another appointment for Sept 9th to go back for infertility help. On Sunday, Sept 4th I woke up and felt like I should take a pregnancy test so I did. It was the kind with the 2 lines and the 2nd line was really faint so I didn't think it was positive. The next day Brian went and bought the digital display kind so I took another test and this showed up...

We both stood there pretty shocked. I have taken so many of these dumb tests and to finally see a positive result was crazy. There are days where I still can't believe it.

Baby at about 6 weeks.

Almost 11 weeks.

So, now I am trying to make myself believe that I am going to be responsible for another human life in a few months. The thought both scares and excites me. Mostly I just feel so thankful for answered prayers. I know there are so many people who try like we did, but never end up being able to get pregnant, so we are so lucky. The time we spent waiting doesn't seem so awful now, but at the time it sure was a trial of my faith. I feel so blessed. Life is good. Adventures await us!

Happy Birthday to me and Moab

Friday was my 24th birthday and it was a great day! We went on a trip with our ward buddies to Moab and had a blast. It was my first time there and I was so impressed by it.

We ate at Slickrock Cafe for my birthday dinner. They surprised me at the end with ice cream and the restaurant singing happy birthday to me. It was yummy food. :)

Saturday morning the boys woke up at 5 and went on a 10 mile bike ride. They all really enjoyed it and were exhausted by the time they got back. The girls and babies woke up at 7 and went on a hike to the North and South Windows. It was so incredible. I could not believe all there was to see.

This was my pose for Brian. ;)

Can't remember what this was called...but still awesome looking.

That night we went as a group up to Delicate Arch. It was a nice hike and we went at the perfect time in the evening so it wasn't warm at all.

And of course our camera died just as we made it to Delicate so this is a cell phone picture. It was so beautiful. It was a wonderful weekend and birthday. We are so blessed with awesome friends!

San Fran

We took our vacation this year and went to San Francisco. It was so much fun!! It is such a beautiful place to visit. We will be going back one day. It was so nice to get away together for a week. This was our first vacation since our honeymoon where we went away and didn't visit family. NOT THAT WE DON'T LOVE FAMILY...we just loved it with the two of us (more). :)

I don't remember what beach this is. I love this picture. I sure love this boy too.

The Oakland Temple is beautiful. Can you see us??

B+C

Twin Peaks. The view up here was incredible. You could see the whole city and bay. Our pictures just don't do it justice.

Bri diving into our $8 Ghirardeli sundae that we were told was a must to try. It was pretty divine.

We took a bus tour of the city and it started to sprinkle so they were kind to hand out ponchos. It was great.

Oh that's right...John Wayne made out of Jelly Bellys. The Jelly Belly factory was awesome. They just came out with a new line of flavors... Skunk spray, centipede, pencil shavings, toothpaste, canned dog food, and baby wipes (which I sampled and gagged on) to name a few.

Alcatraz tour was cool and creepy. The tour is done very well.

Fisherman's Wharf dock. We spent lots of time there. Clam chowder was so yummy!!!

This obviously is not us, but we did a city tour in one of these and got lost. We ended up in downtown in this piece of plastic. I am so glad we weren't killed. We just laughed and laughed once I stopped freaking out.

BSN graduation

I graduated with my BSN in April. It was a happy day!! My last semester of school was heaven sent. It was so relaxed and I didn't feel like I was drowning like the semester previous. I am so glad I decided to get my BSN. I'm excited to keep going, but am enjoying my break from school for now. I need to get more experience under my belt. I still am learning new things all the time. I sure love being a nurse. It has provided me with life experiences I will always cherish.

I knew I would start crying when I walked in and sure enough I did. I was happy and feeling blessed to have received an education and degree.

My boy is so photogenic. He meant to close his eyes I'm sure. ;) Bri's family is awesome. They have endured all my graduations. I love that they are so supportive.

Love my family too. Becoming a nurse with my mom has been one of the best experiences of my life. I always have a listening ear with her when nursing things get on my nerves. :)

Girlfriend vacation

Last week was spring break and my girlfriends and I went on a vacation to St George. We all became friends from the ward and we have a monthly dinner group that we just started and decided we needed a girls getaway. It was so much fun! I am so lucky to have these wonderful ladies in my life. I am so grateful for them and for all the memories we have shared.

Jill and me in the front..

Natalie, Kera, and Katie (AKA Kate) in the back ready to hit the road!

When Katie told us we were staying at her aunt's vacation home, I had no idea we were staying in a mansion. The house was incredible. I kept saying, "Oh my gosh" when we got there. It was the perfect place for a vacation of relaxation. :)

On Friday we spent the day at the temple and the visitor's center. It was such a neat experience and one I will always remember. I was so glad we went.

Sorry this is sideways...we stopped by my old apartment building I used to live in while I went to Dixie. No one answered the door..I was bummed because I wanted to see the old place. :(

Bed head!! Nat had to leave us on Saturday to get back home so her dad flew down and picked her up. We just rolled out of bed.

It was a much needed and enjoyed vacation. It was full of laughter, crafting, self defense instruction (given by me), tricks, great cooking, late night talks, and more unmentionable things. I love my friends and the women they are. They strengthen me in so many ways.

I came home to a spotless house and a surprise from Brian. He got me a KitchenAid mixer and I am so excited to use it. I missed him and Millie. It is good to be home, but I am looking forward to our next girls vacation. :)